Fourteen years ago my life as I knew it changed. I was about to become a mom and that meant priorities would be changing. My plans of school would be put off, I was marrying the man I loved more than anything but yet really didn't know so there was a TON of growing to do, I was terrified of the future...but the one thing I did know was I was going to do my best to be an amazing mom. I knew there would be a learning curve, I knew my days of making decisions just for myself were over because EVERY SINGLE decision I made would affect my child. Thank goodness my babies are resilient because man have there been some silly decisions but nothing to affect my time with them or the home they depended on.
As time passed and one child became two, two became three, even less decisions were based on myself and more on their needs. Instead of new clothes for me...it was a new bike for one. Instead of going out with friends and hanging out and living the "adult" life...it was Friday night living room night watching Elmo and Madagascar and eating popcorn and Popsicles and trying to help them cope with why Dad was gone again. Instead of date night with my love going to the movies...it was an early dinner of chicken nuggets and early bedtime for the kids, then steak cooked at home with a new release movie and snuggles on the couch. My life was mom, my identity became JT's Savannah's or Jake's mom...and guess what THAT WAS OK!!! It was ok to support them 100% but I always "thought" something was missing.
At the age of 34 I have returned back to school. I was excited to start finding the identity I thought I had lost. But yet I am a mom still, I am way older than 95% of the students there and am as old as many of my professors. I find that I miss my being a full-time mom. I find that I can't juggle everything along with a school schedule. I am finding out I am not as superwoman as I used to be. I am also finding that my being a mom needs to still be a priority. My kids have not left my house...my kids may be independent in many ways but they still require mom (and dad LOL). In all of this I guess I am finding myself. Myself is someone who is super proud of what her kids have and are becoming. Myself is someone who is super proud of the flexibility that my kids have because Josh and I worked our hardest to give them a stable rock to stand on. Myself is someone who throughout the years would have the thoughts of "when can I do something for me just once" but am finding that guess what...all the time I was doing something for me.
So mom's even though it can become SOOOOOOO overwhelming when they are little and absolutely exhausting....giving them the most of yourself and having an identity as ________'s mom is a good thing! It is worth every exhausted tear of frustration....it is worth every moment you give up something for yourself to spend that night at home snuggling your sweet angel. Those moments will be gone so quickly and your Friday nights will not much longer be spent at home snuggling with them, but spending them at sporting events or waiting and worrying on them to get home from a function or a date night out (those days are creeping up way too quickly here). So yes I am the Phines' kids mom and that is definitely my identity and after 14 years...I am ok with that!
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Have You Seen My Socks?
In the 6 weeks I have been back at work, we have developed a slight problem. I have already pointed out that I hate doing laundry and that being back at work is great because it lets me avoid doing it at all costs. I realize I am home 3 or 4 days a week, but I still manage to avoid the dirty clothes forming Mt. Laundry in our bedroom. The only problem with this is if laundry isn't done after one week my darling husband runs out of work socks. Heaven forbid he has to work a weekend shift because it is almost guaranteed he is going to have to wear a pair of socks that are not regulation. Those are the days I pray the blousing on his pants doesn't creep up and show his socks.
I have told him several times that we can probably afford to have more than 5 pairs of work socks. They won't fit in his sock drawer though because of the white socks that also must occupy the tiny space that I allotted him for his socks. So really, it is my own fault that some days he is scrambling around at 6:30 in the morning searching for those darn olive green, knee-high socks. The positive side of all of this is that after 4 weeks of this and searching and scrambling for socks I was replaced as PIC (person in charge) of laundry. A typical Saturday for my husband now includes doing the laundry from the week which amount to anywhere from 5 to 7 loads. At the end of the day, before we can go to sleep we must remove all of the clean laundry from the bed. Sometimes this means actually folding and putting away of the clothes. Other times (if I get there first) it may mean piling the clean clothes in a laundry basket and pretending they aren't there. I am very good at pretending. However, my pretending causes the same search for those darn socks come Monday morning.
Some days I actually think, ok, I have plenty of time to do a load of laundry or two while I am home and if I just start it first thing I can put it away and have it all done before lunch. Then Tiny Tornado awakens and the day really starts. We play horses, read books, chase kitties and doggies, put shoes on and off, climb in and out of bouncers and walkers, make animal noises, and have 5 meals a day. Every day that I spend with her is precious and each moment is cherished. Even the ones that I am being scolded for telling her no, which is far more often that she would like. Those things put the thoughts of laundry far into the back of my mind. Nothing is more likely to stop me from doing laundry or dishes then tiny fingers pulling on my pantleg and handing me One Fish Two Fish; Red Fish Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss or Charlie and The Christmas Kitty by Ree Drummond. I know when she hands me these two books that she wants to sit in my lap and snuggle while we read them. I read, she yells fishy or kitty at each page and sometimes we have to stop so she can race around the room in excitement (she really likes fish and kitties).
She won't want to sit in my lap and snuggle forever. These days will be gone. One day, I won't look around at naptime and laugh at the massive amount of chaos that she created in 3 hours by spreading all her books and toys throughout the front half of the house. One day soon, she won't yell at me because I haven't read a book correctly or I missed a page. Before long, she won't say boooo every time we ask her what a cow says or howl when we ask her what Charlie says. So for as long as she will let me, I will sit on the floor for hours, read books, play horses and cars, and squeeze her a little too tight. I am blessed to have a darling husband who understands that I am going to embrace every minute with Tiny Tornado. This is likely to mean that he will be doing laundry for a long, long time. It means that there will be days that his socks aren't quite in regulation. It definitely means that there will be times we both search through Mt. Laundry for a matching pair of olive green, knee-high socks.
I have told him several times that we can probably afford to have more than 5 pairs of work socks. They won't fit in his sock drawer though because of the white socks that also must occupy the tiny space that I allotted him for his socks. So really, it is my own fault that some days he is scrambling around at 6:30 in the morning searching for those darn olive green, knee-high socks. The positive side of all of this is that after 4 weeks of this and searching and scrambling for socks I was replaced as PIC (person in charge) of laundry. A typical Saturday for my husband now includes doing the laundry from the week which amount to anywhere from 5 to 7 loads. At the end of the day, before we can go to sleep we must remove all of the clean laundry from the bed. Sometimes this means actually folding and putting away of the clothes. Other times (if I get there first) it may mean piling the clean clothes in a laundry basket and pretending they aren't there. I am very good at pretending. However, my pretending causes the same search for those darn socks come Monday morning.
Some days I actually think, ok, I have plenty of time to do a load of laundry or two while I am home and if I just start it first thing I can put it away and have it all done before lunch. Then Tiny Tornado awakens and the day really starts. We play horses, read books, chase kitties and doggies, put shoes on and off, climb in and out of bouncers and walkers, make animal noises, and have 5 meals a day. Every day that I spend with her is precious and each moment is cherished. Even the ones that I am being scolded for telling her no, which is far more often that she would like. Those things put the thoughts of laundry far into the back of my mind. Nothing is more likely to stop me from doing laundry or dishes then tiny fingers pulling on my pantleg and handing me One Fish Two Fish; Red Fish Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss or Charlie and The Christmas Kitty by Ree Drummond. I know when she hands me these two books that she wants to sit in my lap and snuggle while we read them. I read, she yells fishy or kitty at each page and sometimes we have to stop so she can race around the room in excitement (she really likes fish and kitties).
She won't want to sit in my lap and snuggle forever. These days will be gone. One day, I won't look around at naptime and laugh at the massive amount of chaos that she created in 3 hours by spreading all her books and toys throughout the front half of the house. One day soon, she won't yell at me because I haven't read a book correctly or I missed a page. Before long, she won't say boooo every time we ask her what a cow says or howl when we ask her what Charlie says. So for as long as she will let me, I will sit on the floor for hours, read books, play horses and cars, and squeeze her a little too tight. I am blessed to have a darling husband who understands that I am going to embrace every minute with Tiny Tornado. This is likely to mean that he will be doing laundry for a long, long time. It means that there will be days that his socks aren't quite in regulation. It definitely means that there will be times we both search through Mt. Laundry for a matching pair of olive green, knee-high socks.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
Reading Is Important. Right?
I love reading. Before the tornado arrived, I could often be found relaxing on my day off with a book and a cup of tea. I have been that way forever. I have a personal library of over 200 books that we have moved across the country and will continue to do so. Sometimes during naptime, I still sit down with a good book and a cup of tea. I understand the importance of books and reading to children. I know it is a wonderful thing. My concern is when is it too much?
Tiny Tornado has developed a love of books. She has overtaken one shelf of my bookcase and it has about 50 books on it. She also has books that don't go on the bookshelves that are small picture books. Every day that we are home this bookshelf is emptied. In the morning, we read for about 2 hours. No, I am not exaggerating. I sit on the floor, she brings me a book, I read it and then send her to get a different one. Some times she brings a new one, sometimes it is one we just read, sometimes she gets distracted for a couple minutes but she always comes back. The afternoons are much the same, just for a longer period of time. We try to distract her with toys, food, juice, and anything we possibly can. The distractions last for a few minutes and then she finds a book and we start all over.
We have started hiding books to escape them. Where is Ellie the Elephant was read over 50 times in a week. It got sent to the babysitter (Sorry for that). If the book happens to have a cat in it we must read it over and over and over. Every time she sees the cat she yells KITTY. Charlie and the Christmas Kitty by Ree Drummond is currently hiding under the couch. Good Morning, Good Night is inside the seat of the recliner. If we did not work to make her do other things, she would want us to read to her for probably 6 or 7 hours a day.
At what point is it too much? When do we need to put the books where she can't reach them? Do we need to limit her reading like we limit her iPad or TV time? Is it important that she play with other toys in addition to her books? Is it great that she loves to read and we are doomed to read Five Little Pumpkins over and over until she learns to read on her own?
Tiny Tornado has developed a love of books. She has overtaken one shelf of my bookcase and it has about 50 books on it. She also has books that don't go on the bookshelves that are small picture books. Every day that we are home this bookshelf is emptied. In the morning, we read for about 2 hours. No, I am not exaggerating. I sit on the floor, she brings me a book, I read it and then send her to get a different one. Some times she brings a new one, sometimes it is one we just read, sometimes she gets distracted for a couple minutes but she always comes back. The afternoons are much the same, just for a longer period of time. We try to distract her with toys, food, juice, and anything we possibly can. The distractions last for a few minutes and then she finds a book and we start all over.
We have started hiding books to escape them. Where is Ellie the Elephant was read over 50 times in a week. It got sent to the babysitter (Sorry for that). If the book happens to have a cat in it we must read it over and over and over. Every time she sees the cat she yells KITTY. Charlie and the Christmas Kitty by Ree Drummond is currently hiding under the couch. Good Morning, Good Night is inside the seat of the recliner. If we did not work to make her do other things, she would want us to read to her for probably 6 or 7 hours a day.
At what point is it too much? When do we need to put the books where she can't reach them? Do we need to limit her reading like we limit her iPad or TV time? Is it important that she play with other toys in addition to her books? Is it great that she loves to read and we are doomed to read Five Little Pumpkins over and over until she learns to read on her own?
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