No where in that did I say beautiful. Nor did I say skinny. Or glamorous. Or feminine.
As a woman there are pressures from society for certain ideals. Use makeup to be beautiful, run and eat to lose weight, look great in a bikini no matter what, find the perfect clothes for every occasion. Don't dress like a boy unless it is fashionable.
I am going to do my best to change these expectations in my house. We don't talk about weight or fat (this is hard for me). We don't say ugly or beautiful. We don't stress about what we wear and we let her pick her own clothes from her drawer. I don't wear makeup at home.
It has stuck with me for my entire life the first time someone called me fat and said I needed to lose weight. It was someone in my family. They never knew I cried that night. They never knew those words caused me to have a serious eating problem later. I have vowed to never use these words with my children. We talk about healthy food and treats. As they grow up, we will talk about fat, protein, and carbohydrates as nutrients. Not as a body type.
Little girls don't need us to make them up to be cute. They don't need painted nails, hair done and perfect clothes. They need to be given the chance to be different. To be strong. To be whatever they want to be. They need to be muddy and grimy. They need to wear polka dots on top and stripes on bottom. They need to be diaper naked and have their rolls kissed and nibbled on. If someday they want boy clothes, our girls need us to do that too.
We won't change the world's expectation of girls. Maybe, though, we can change our expectations. Maybe, we can allow two little girls to be whomever they want to be. By not forcing them to be girly we are allowing them to grow as they choose within some basic rules. We let then explore, don't limit their learning and make life fun. Sometimes, one might grab a knife or run with a screwdriver but for the most part they are safe, happy, and loved. Isn't that more important than beauty, weight, and society?
