This stress is added to because we have someone's family member that we are responsible for. We not only have to take care of the pet but also their owners. For many veterinarians this part is more stressful than the medicine. We have all dealt with sad owners, angry owners, and owners without the financial means to help their pet. The hardest situations are the mean, abusive owners. We have all had them and often nothing we could have done or want to do will change their opinion. These are the owners that post abusive comments on social media and verbally attack us. These attacks are heartbreaking. The ones that say we are only vets for the money and we don't care about pets are upsetting. The ones that say we enjoy killing pets are disturbing. I have seen them all and know that I can't change their minds and can only do my best work daily. That doesn't mean that I don't carry them with me every day and question whether I gave everything I had for that person in that moment.
Many veterinarians are also very hard on themselves. We tend to be high-functioning, highly dedicated, highly educated people who as a group expect only the best of ourselves every day. When a case goes wrong, we lose a patient, or we aren't given the means to do what needs done we can become extremely frustrated. Frustrated with ourselves, with the world, and with the profession. All of this frustration combined with stress can become a catalyst for extreme behavior. Unless we learn to talk about what is happening we are at huge risk.
Recently we have dealt with several high-profile suicided within the profession. These incidents are extremely concerning. If the people who are at the forefront of the profession can't handle the stress how are those in the trenches everyday suppose to handle it?
I don't have the answers for everyone. I only know what is my saving grace. I know that on those days when the job seems extremely heavy and unbearable I cry. I give myself my 30 minute drive home to feel sorry for what happened that day. I might cry, I might scream, I might turn the radio up loud and drive fast. When I walk in the door, I look into the eyes of my tiny tornado and smile. I listen to her laugh and let it heal my heart. I hug my husband and maybe hold him a little tighter than normal. I play peek-a-boo with the curtains and sing Itsy Bitsy Spider. All of those things take away some of the pain and stress. They also remind me of the most important things in my life. The things that I live for outside of work.
There are still days that I want to walk away from this job. There are days when I know that if I see another euthanasia I will not be able to stop crying. I keep all the cards and gifts I have received from clients over the years and I pull them out to read them when I need a reminder that I did something right one time. I try to remember the cases that I helped save a life that matters to someone. Without those cases I would have burned out long-ago. Even now, I only work part-time for numerous reasons including the stress and most likely will not work full-time again for a long, long time if ever.
If you are a veterinarian reading this, please find something in your life that gives you hope, joy and passion. We have lost too many already and I don't want to read more obituaries. If you own pets, please be kind when they need a doctor. As a profession we are doing our best and we all want to work with you and help you. If you have a veterinarian whom you love, send them a thank you note or gift(food is always a plus). We treasure them and use them to help us survive. Remember, you don't know what someone else is carrying in their heart and by being kind you may make a huge difference in someone's day.
